Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Finding out.....

So even though it feels like a lifetime ago I thought I would share our story of how we came to find out we were expecting. This was all back in December, so an entirely different year ago, and it definitely feels like we've known for a long long time.
Around the 10th/11th of December G and I were in the living room wrapping Christmas presents when I though I would bring up a topic that was on my mind. My period was late. Not crazy panic stations late but a couple of days late...and I am never late. I've been on the pill as long as I can remember - well quite soon after G & I first met when I was 15 - and my cycle is like clockwork.
Obviously been a natural born worrier I had also self diagnosed myself with a baby bump, sore boobs, extra tiredness and started questioning had I been feeling sick? etc.. all the usual symptoms, but had been putting it to the back of my mind.
So not wanting to keep it to myself anymore I asked G "would it be total disaster if I were pregnant now?". Now let me explain a couple of things. In no way shape or form is G anti-having babies. We have been together for nearly 11 years and for nearly all that time I have been cohabiting with a man-child. G is very much the boy who will never grow up - but in the most amazing cute fun way. I love watching him goof around with our friends kids and I know this is one of the qualities that is going to make him the best dad.
 For a good few years when people asked he would always say that he definitely wanted to have children just not anytime soon, but over the last few years, having watched a lot of our close friends become parents he had definitely softened to the idea. We had discussed and pretty much decided we were going to start trying to have a baby in Summer 2015, so not all that far away but still I figured a pregnancy now would be a shock.
As predicted G didn't react well. I didn't receive the worst reaction in the history of all the reactions ever but it was definitely up there. Of course he simply pointed out all the realistic things that I had already thought of 100x over. I hadn't even been at my airline for 6 months yet and was due to pass my probation in the next couple of days, definitely wasn't entirely settled in to long haul flying yet, G had recently left his job to go self-employed and being in the construction industry winter was particularly stressful and work had been very quiet for a few weeks and was looking like it would stay that way for a while and probably the biggest obstacle of all...our finances were definitely not in the best shape.
Anyhow we had a pretty brief conversation about it and left it there. Neither of us really wanting to give it much more thought and burying our heads in the sand again. It was my mum's birthday that weekend and we had a weekend away planned, going for dinner and to the theatre and we decided that if mother nature hadn't put in an appearance by the Monday we would do a test.
So the Monday came and I had a trip to Tel Aviv, Israel with work. Only a brief 24 hours in Tel Aviv and then back again late Tuesday night. Naturally on the Monday night in my gorgeous hotel bed, with the comfiest pillows possibly ever found I couldn't sleep a wink. I'm not exaggerating - not . one . WINK! I think I was up for the entire night googling pregnancy symptoms and looking at prams and cots and trying to sort out our doomed finances. Literally you name it, I thought 3am Israeli time was the time to fix it! I think by then I knew I was pregnant. I think a girl can just tell can't you? My period still hadn't come, despite me checking every 10 minutes and my boobs were feeling really really tender.
I landed that night at about 9pm, went straight to the 24hr Tesco up near Heathrow airport and bought a pregnancy test. Not just a cheap one either, the most expensive - spells it out for you - no arguments - one that I could find. I was sure I was pregnant so I didn't want to be phaffing around with any is it? isnt it? faint line result. I wanted it in clear black and white! In fact I was so sure that the result was going to be positive that I actually bought some folic acid to start taking as well (something I learnt all about the night before during my google sesh!).

So a 90 minute drive later I was finally home, rushed into the house and rushed upstairs to the loo with G to do the test. I didn't even stop to take my uniform off which was definitely a first, I HATED my work uniform. So there we were sitting on the step outside our bathroom watching that little timer tick tick away for the longest two minutes of our lives. It's crazy the thoughts that go through your mind in those two minutes. I remember being so so anxious, I knew if the result was positive I would be happy but I was worried how G would react after our conversation the week before. I was panicking that he would react badly but I had absolutely no need to worry AT all!

So there we were Tuesday 16th December 2014, about 11:45pm and our lives changed forever. Obviously the test came back positive and it actually confirmed I was "3+ weeks" which by the ClearBlue instructions meant I was approximately 5 weeks pregnant already.
I definitely felt 100 emotions all at once in that moment. Excited . so so Happy . Scared . Anxious . Nervous . Amazing and loads more thrown in! But somehow in all the chaos I don't think I expressed any of those feelings very well. It's now abit of a running joke that G handled the news much better than I did which surprised everybody, especially me. I never ever even once for a minute was anything but happy with the news that we were pregnant but I think I was so worried about how G was going to react that was all I could think about. It actually turned out that G said he had been thinking about what we would do if we were pregnant since our last conversation and the whole time I had been in Israel. He had a strong feeling that the test would be positive as well so was totally prepared for the outcome. He'd already decided that having a baby right here right now wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, he just forgot to fill me in & unknowingly left me worrying like crazy!!

So there you have it, a little insight into how we discovered Squishy was on the way. Most definitely a moment we will never forget!

How did you discover you were pregnant? 
I'd love to hear your stories?


  1. Congrats! Hope you have a wonderful pregnancy journey.


  2. Thanks so much Nathaly & thanks for stopping by to say hello :)